The One Where I Sat In Coffee

Friday morning I was packed and ready to go.  I had my most comfortable maternity-ish outfit on: black leggings and a dress-turned-large shirt.  I threw a cardigan in my carry on because airplanes are always so cold, and off I went to the Atlanta airport. With my suitcase checked in, I walked out to the B gates to wait for my flight.

For those of you familiar with Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, you know that it is insanely busy.  Like streets of New York City in the movies, busy.  I was flying standby so I had no idea how long I'd be at the airport.  All the seats at my gate were full by the time I arrived so I settled on an empty wall with plenty of leg room.

I sat down, pulled out my water bottle and book, and kept one eye on the standby monitor.  A few minutes later I decided to get gum out of my bag and noticed that the bottom was a little moist.  I wrote it off as a leak in my water bottle and continued my wait.

Several minutes later my name is called on the standby roll over list, meaning I'd have to wait it out for the night flight.  As I stand up to claim my new boarding pass, I adjust my dress-turned-shirt I brushed my hands along my hiney out of habit, checking for crumbs and fixing my skirt.

It was soaked. My bottom was soaked! Not only was my dress-turned-shirt soaked from bottom to waist, but whatever I sat in was soaking through my pants, and underpants.

Awesome.


Given the history of my pregnancy, I immediately checked for blood or other fluids, but thankfully this looked like water.

As I stood up the kind man next to me assured me that it wasn't "that bad" and that no one in the airport would notice.  Regardless, my underpants were soaking wet!  Ew.  I quickly wrapped my cardigan around my waist Ugly Betty style and walked up to the counter.  I found out that I was stuck in the airport for two more hours waiting on the next flight.

Now what?

Before you judge what I am about to say, I want you to think about what you would do if you were me?  If you were stuck in the airport for two hours without a change of clothes and on a very limited budget....


Thankfully, the wall I was camped out against was the women's bathroom.  I quickly snuck into the back handicapped stall.  I took off my shirt to see just how bad the "damage" was... Yuck.  I definitely sat in coffee and now my whole being was starting to stink of stale coffee.  I hung my shirt up on the railing in the stall and decided, hey, while I'm in here, might as well use the facilities.  At which time I checked out the wreckage of my leggings and underpants.  Dripping wet.  And I could clearly see it was coffee.   Brown stained panties that smell like coffee.  Woof.

This is where it gets embarrassing, but hey, what else was I going to do?  I took off my leggings and underpants and added them to my make-shift clothes line.  And then I took out a book and read.

About 20 minutes later I decided to use some toilet paper to help wring out the moisture in my clothes, and then I shook them out and fanned them for a few more minutes.  At this point everything was dry enough to put back on...but I had the debate:  ditch the coffee stained undies and go commando on an airplane or, put them back on.  I'll let you decide what I did.

As I wandered out of the ladies room, I put on my thankfully long cardigan and strategically carried my tote bag as to minimize the visibility of my oval-shaped, coffee-stained rump.  I kept telling myself "You can wear anything you want as long as you wear it with confidence"  I was hoping it would keep my spirits up, and it did.  What else could I do?

I made it to Columbus on the next flight out.  As soon as we arrived we quickly drove to Amanda's so I could change and wash everything I was wearing....