Adventures in Potty Training - Admitting Defeat?

A week ago today I set out to start potty training our sweet Evie.  Between her usual days off from school and the holiday weekend, Evie had 5 days home with me.  Perfect timing.  Panties, two kinds of potty seats, treats, stickers, and potty books. We were ready!

A few people questioned me on her readiness since she's just 26 months old.  I assured them that if she picks out her own diapers and tells me when she's going then she's clearly ready to potty train.

Friday afternoon we started in on the "fun".  Evie was doing great.   We quickly progressed from just sitting on the potty to get comfortable to running to the potty while she was in the act of going.  This continued for 3 of the 5 days.

Day 4... I knew! I knew! was going to be the lightbulb day.  It was just going to click and we'd be home free.

Ha!

Day four is when I learned a tremendous amount about my personality but also my daughter's.

It was now Monday and Evie woke up super early.  I put her in a diaper so I could get out of bed and put in my contacts before I started thinking about Hippo Ballerina panties.  We snuggled and ate breakfast and I quickly transitioned her to potty training uniform: panties and a t-shirt.  She picked out both and was once again excited to be a big girl!

But that's where the fun ended.  After a full sippy cup at breakfast she would not pee.  She would cry and wanted nothing to do with the potty or her treats.  I talked to some mamas and they suggested putting the potty seat in the playroom or near the TV so we tried that and she peed once. YAY!

A little bit later she was sitting on my computer desk in the kitchen.  And she peed (after my asking her every 10 minutes if she needed to go / wanted to try) all over the chair...which dripped off the chair and into my Dooney and Burke purse that resides under the computer desk for safe keeping.  (Thank God for wet paper towels amiright?)

Then it was nap time. I gave it my best effort to encourage her to go potty before nap time, but she refused...and refused.  I gave up and I got her cozied up in a diaper and blankies.  During the course of her two hour nap / quiet time she asked for TWO diaper changes.  I swear there was a week's worth of pee in those diaper changes. She was clearly holding it in waiting for the comfort of her diaper.

After nap she was back in panties and I was determined to pump her full of water and really give her my full attention to make for a successful afternoon.  During the next 3 hours Evie downed two full sippy cups - a near 18 ounces.  And she would not entertain the idea of the toilet. In fact she would have a full blown meltdown if I even mentioned it.. OR if *I* went to the bathroom.

I was sensing she was over this whole potty training thing. She was exhausted and I was exhausted. And our carpet couldn't endure anymore.

We were going on hour 4 since she had peed.  She was walking around on her tip toes with her butt squeezed in.  It was nearing bed time.  I was afraid of two scenarios.  First, we'd pick her up to go up for bed time and she'd pee all over me and the stairs (and the thought of carpet shampooing the stairs 27 weeks pregnant was not an option).  Or second, that she'd hold it and pee in her diaper within an hour or two thus waking me up for a diaper change resulting in insomnia for the rest of the night.  Neither of these were an option.

Eric was home at this point and took over Evie + potty duty.  We thought if I left the room for a while and Daddy came in with fresh encouragement she'd go.

As soon as Eric asked her to go potty she began a 45 minute tantrum that resulted in her hyperventilating, twitching, and I swear her eyes were going to roll back in her head.  She could not calm down (and still hadn't peed).  I had to take her hands and make her do breathing exercises with me.  Once she relaxed she finally peed. Thank God.  I was nearing a panic attack of my own!

Whew. Eric took her up for bed and then we had a long conversation about what to do next.

See, I wanted to get her trained this month so she could have 3 months practicing to really establish a routine before the "new baby back slide".  I also didn't want to have two in diapers. So much laundry!

However, as the 4 days progressed I realized that I was pushing my agenda on her and she could sense it.  Evie, much like her mother and grandfather, has to do things on her own time when it's her own idea.  This potty thing was not her idea.

After seeing how much anxiety this was causing her, Eric and I agreed to give her a day off on Tuesday, get out of the house and see what happened.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday she really only mentioned it once each day, but it was mostly because she wanted the candy treat.

So it's Friday and Eric and I have agreed to continue reading her potty books, and letting her play on her potty and if she's interested in trying to go we'll let her.  Our intention is to wait for the baby to come and then try again in the summer.

Twitter moms, playgroup moms, and her pre school teachers were all so encouraging to me that we made the right decisions. They reminded me there is no reason to rush her since she is only 26 months and won't even need to be trained for school this Fall.  Thank you!!!

I struggled to admit "defeat." I felt like I failed, like I didn't try hard enough. But I later told Eric that I think I was projecting my feelings of our "failed" breastfeeding on to our "failed" potty training causing me to be irrationally emotional and stubborn about the whole thing. He reminded me they are completely different. It's taken a few days since our decision to back off, but I am feeling better and thinking logically instead of emotionally (story of my life!).  We did the right thing for her this week.  It'll come to her when the time is right!

Bump Watch: Week 27

Go Flyers! 25wks 6days

Twin Day! 26 wks

How far along? 27 weeks 2 days

How big is baby? 

Total weight gain? I think I'm holding steady around 16-17 pounds.  Finally eating healthy-ish the last two weeks helped a lot! 

Maternity clothes? I started this pregnancy down a size from the last one, but I am starting to fit into some of the clothes from when I was pregnant with Evie without them looking too frumpy.  But on the downside, I don't really fit in any of my non-maternity clothes any more.  I have my eye on this shirt that I might get, but we'll see.

Stretch marks? Nothing new this pregnancy.

Belly button? It looks like a cinnamon roll, or a gnarly knot in an old oak tree

Exercise.  Really making an effort to walk, have dance parties with Evie, and even YouTube a few mini workouts.  Thanks to everyone who friended me on FitBit - You're keeping me motivated to not be a lazy pregnant lady!

Sleep.  Back to an insomnia pattern, but Evie's napping better during the day so I can take little nap breaks.

Movement.  Out of control.  I told Eric the other night I wish I could turn her off at bedtime. I feel like I'm getting head-butted in the pelvis. Ouch.  But most of the time I love watching her kick, flip and swim. It's fun to see movement!

Food cravings: Coke (what?), cantaloupe, clementines, and baby carrots.  Oh, and these brownies my cousin made: chocolate chip cookie + oreos + brownies. Eric had to remove them from our home. I'm just glad she brought them over after my glucose test! ha!

Food aversions:  Well, I ate pork chops last week, however, I was not able to cook them...bleh. 

What I miss:  Sleeping on my stomach

What I am looking forward to:  Sharing our little girl's name with everyone!

Milestones:  I passed my post-prandial glucose test!

Say What?  In line for the bathroom at a coffee shop the lady in front of me turns around and asked, "Hey, you're not having one of those crazy-hafa-pee pregnant lady moments or can I zip in real quick?"

Sweet moments:  Handing me the doppler the other morning Evie asked, "Hey Mama, can we listen to sister's heartbeat?"Oh-kay.

Make room for baby:  I am getting really anxious to get the cradle set up, and her clothes and blankies washed, but I am forcing myself to finish the heavy lifting projects in the next six weeks and to save the wash and organize stuff for the last six weeks.

Oh, and THIS: I talked to the midwife and she approved my friend potentially observing our birth for her doula certification. Pretty excited about the possibility of having her there!

Compared to Evie: 

• I had just started learning about eating to reduce inflammation (low grain, low dairy, low sodium);  I swear eating this way from the start of this pregnancy has made a HUGE difference
• I had slipped on a rug and sprained my inner thigh so badly I was on bed rest for a week; had some issues with this over Christmas and saw a therapist to get them worked out before they became debilitating. I'm glad I did, as I am fine now!
• Just decided to make a nursery in our apartment; putting the finishing touches on the big girl room so we can update the nursery for the new baby!
• Had gained 30ish pounds; gained 17ish pounds!
• Read her 27-28 week update here!

Ten Pregnancy Favorites

I finally decided to compile my favorites from this pregnancy.  These are my most texted, tweeted, blogged, and bragged about items while expecting Baby Buergler #2.  Enjoy!

ONE.

Body Pillow

Affectionately known in our house as "J-Lo" ...I don't even remember the story.  I bought this with Evie because I didn't want a body pillow that also served as a head pillow. This was all I could find at the time.  3 years and several washings later, I can't sleep without it!

TWO*.  

Honest Organic Belly Balm

I wish this was available with Evie. It's an organic, all natural balm to slather up your belly and dry skin, especially in the Winter.  I wanted a more natural option than a lotion, and REAL cocoa butter is a pain to soften. It smells so yummy too!

THREE*.

 DHA/ Omega-3

Eric and I have been on the hunt for the perfect fish oil for 3-4 years. The cost/value/fish taste combination has left us empty handed.  When Honest Co released theirs a few weeks ago, we gave it a shot. The price is right, the quality is there, and no fishy burps! If you don't know about the benefits of Fish Oil, just Google it. 

FOUR. 

Jessica Simpson Petitie Skinny Maternity Jeans

Do I look petite to you? No?  Didn't think so. Haha!  However, I have super short legs and no butt. Sometimes petite pants are a really great option for me. I sized up and these jeans fit like a glove. I went back for a second pair and it's basically all I wear this pregnancy.  I've found them at Motherhood and Macy's Maternity.

FIVE. 

This Dress

It's been my magic pregnancy Little Black Dress. Flats or heels, I feel like a million bucks!

SIX. 

Clementines

Are you tired of me talking about my pregnant obsession with clementines?  With Evie it was cantaloupe.  Clearly my body knows it needs extra Vitamin C.

SEVEN. 

Gap PureBody T-Shirts & SuperSoft Leggings

Y'all. These tshirts have me regretting every other maternity t-shirt I've ever bought. So soft. So layerable.  So long they cover both my long torso AND my giant baby belly! (Something I can't say about anything from Target). And the leggings? Equally soft and layerable.  I live in them at home.

EIGHT. 

BeMaternity Ruched Tanks

They're made from almost the same maternity as their BeBand line.  The tanks are extra long.  They've been awesome for winter layering and helping keep some of my shorter shirts from creeping up. I have a black one and white one.  Snag them at Target...but be sure to read the sizing guide!

NINE. 

FitBit

I know I mention it a lot, but it's been a great way for me to keep an eye on my activity level each day.  I was so inactive with Evie and it caused so many complications, that I've been extra sensitive to making sure I get a minimum of 5k steps, with a realistic goal of 8k, and a YAYME goal of 10k+ each day.

TEN. 

Epsom Salt Baths

I've been trying to sneak one in at least once a week.  The quite time and healing & detox powers of salt baths have helped keep the aches and pains at bay.  Most nights I use grocery store bulk stuff, but I just purchased some Green Bubble Gorgeous after I loved my Happy Mommy Box sample. And I'm finishing up some homemade blend from my brother's girlfriend. 

*Affiliate link

I received no compensation for this post, unless you buy from my Honest Co affiliate link. I simply LOVE these products!

Friday Funday: MARTA & Lunch Date with Daddy

One of my New Year's Resolutions was/is to have one fun outing with Evie a week.  This could be as simple as a walk to Starbucks, or as adventurous as the Zoo or Aquarium.   

Today was the perfect storm to accomplish one of the activities on our list: ride MARTA downtown to visit Daddy's office and have a lunch date.  The weather was not too chilly, not raining, and I am not super painfully pregnant yet.

Eric and I told Evie last night about her surprise adventure.  When we told her she was going on a train ride she literally ran around in circles and started jumping with glee. 

Today the moment we boarded the MARTA car, she was yelling "chuga chuga chuga choo choo!" for all the world to hear.  She was so excited!  She loved looking out the window for cars, trees, and clouds.

She was really well behaved and followed all my instructions on my first request.  Whew!  Once we got to Eric's building there was just enough sunlight on the park to play for a few minutes.

 Then we met up with Eric and went on an office tour.  We got to meet all of Eric's work buddies.  Unfortunately our friend Sean was out on business, and Uncle Sam was flying home from a work trip.  But Evie left Uncle Sam a drawing on his white board wall!  She thought it was SO cool to draw on the wall. (Dear God I hope she doesn't apply this lesson at home!)

 Eric's company is on the thirty-something floor of one of the towers in Midtown Atlanta.  They occupy the whole floor, so we could walk from corner to corner and see the whole city.  Evie was fearless. She stood on the window ledges and pointed out all the sights around the city.

Then it was time for our lunch date! We took the elevator and escalator down to the basement cafe for smoothies, fruit, chips, sandwiches, and a cupcake! We had a feast...unless Evie spilled a good bit of smoothie down her dress.  Oops. 

Eric walked us back to the MARTA Station and danced with his tiny sweetheart as we waited for the train.

She jumped on our north bound train like an old pro, and climbed up in her seat as if she'd been riding MARTA her whole life.

And home we went!

Evie was so worn out from the fun and excitement she fell asleep in the car before we hit our exit. AND went down for a nap when we got home. 

For as crummy as some days are with a two year old, today was one of those days that make you want to have a dozen. The world is so innocent and simple through their eyes.  Everything is amazing and exciting!  What a fun day.  I can't wait to play more Fundays with my girl :)

Seven Quick Takes {4}

One.

I have really enjoyed January.  It's been super slow pace around our house, but also, back in the school-work-nap-dinner routine.  I had no idea how badly I need routine in my  life until having a one year old forced me. It's made a huge difference in my productively, sleep, and moods.  And that doesn't even include all the benefits of raising a toddler in a routine environment...kids crave routine too!

Two.

Evie and I have been obsessed with clementines this winter. Like almost a box a week.  My theory is that our bodies crave the extra Vitamin C to help us stay healthy in the Winter.  So far it's worked for Evie!

Three.

The last few weeks have forced Eric and I to have some difficult conversations. Stuff that gets brushed under the rug during that first year of wedded bliss, and stuff that gets put on the back burner while raising a newborn.  But thank God for His infinite wisdom and goodness in prompting us to finally have these conversations and just in time for baby number two. As much as we've both been emotionally exhausted from our nightly discussions, the reward has been abundant peace and understanding!

Four.

Friends, I LOVE that so many people got FitBits for Christmas or New Year's Resolutions. Your tweets and 10k step days are keeping me motivated.  I have been loving mine for over a year now and attribute it to healthy motivation to keep active.  Friend Me!

Five.

Evie's normal school schedule is MWTh, so with the school holiday on Monday that gives us FIVE days off. Ah! Just as we were getting into our routine again, BUT I am using this time to do a potty training boot camp.  We started last night just getting comfortable on the potty.  This afternoon we start full force. Pray for us!  And if you're in the area, deliveries of red wine and dark chocolate are welcome.

Six.

Eric is attending a parish based men's retreat this weekend (lucky guy, gets out of potty training jail).  He's led retreats for our teens, and been on men's retreats for guys in ministry, but nothing for the average dude in the parish.  I'm excited that his retreat group includes two friends, but also that he'll get to meet another 27 new friends in our parish!

Seven.

Please pray for me. I have been doing quite a bit of discernment lately. I mean, how can you read even a paragraph of Evangelii Gaudium and not? I am really excited for some opportunities that have presented themselves for 2014.  I am so thankful for my husband, mother, spiritual director and close friends who have given me the safe environment I need to think out loud and explore God's calling!

Bump Watch: Week 25

Don't I look fabulous? Me at my best and worst these last two weeks :)

How far along? 25 weeks, 2 days
How big is baby? 

Total weight gain? 16 pounds, the holidays were not good to me. 

Many of you know I lost about 20 pounds last year.  I love seeing on my weight tracker that even 25 weeks pregnant, I am still a few pounds lighter now that I was this week last year.


Maternity clothes?  I haven't bought anything new.  I got lots of compliments on my dress for my cousin's wedding. 

Stretch marks? Nothing new this pregnancy

Belly button?  It's getting more and more stretched out. It might actually flatten out this pregnancy!

Exercise: I was super sick with a cold/flu most of these two weeks.  The extent of my exercise was walking airports and dancing at my cousin's wedding reception. And coughing, lots and lots of coughing. 

Sleep:  The out the cold medicine I was taking last week kept me up most nights. Once I traded the 24hr dose for the 4 hr dose, which I didn't take at night, I started sleeping 7-9 hours again.  Bliss!

Movement:  Baby girl goes crazy around 10pm, 4am, and then sometime after lunch.  And just like Evie, loves Iced Tea, sweetened or not!

Food cravings: Any carbs and sweets.  Trying to keep it to a "normal" amount, but it was so hard around the holidays and traveling. Sweets have always been my weakness.  I'm cutting WAY back starting today. Using MyFitnessPal to keep my Total Carbs around 100, but aiming for 150 and then 120 for a few days each as I cut back and my body adjusts.
SEE WHAT I WAS UP AGAINST?!?!  And this doesn't include Christmas cookies or wedding cake. GAHHHHH!

Food aversions: Same as throughout this pregnancy -- rare/raw meat, seafood

What I miss: Sitting for a long period of time without aches and pains

What I am looking forward to: Having a 3 month old. I haven't quite wrapped by head around having a newborn, or the labor and delivery... But I'm excited to have an infant!

Milestones: I can't see my feet anymore!  I can no longer zip up my (non maternity) white puffy vest...SAD!  

Say What?  
As I was in line to use a restroom,
Talking with one of my guy cousins this weekend,
"So how far along are you"
"About 25 weeks, 15 left to go"
"How many trimesters are there? Four? I can't remember"

"Sorry, I know it's rude not to let a pregnant lady cut in line, but I'm over 50 and I really have to go. My bladder just isn' the same as it used to be"

Sweet moments:  I was feeling super discouraged the day of my cousin's wedding. My hair was being weird. I was feeling bloated. And to add insult to injury my cousin and her siblings are sickeningly beautiful and confident. Thus, I was feeling like crawling in a hole.  However, as I walked from my hotel room to the car to leave for the wedding, THREE women stopped me to tell me I looked stunning.  I don't know who these ladies are, but thank you. I needed that!


Make room for baby: Now that Evie's big room is trucking along, I realized we need to get OUR room in order. Baby girl will (likely) be in with us for 3-4 months.  Talk about MAKE ROOM FOR BABY!

I did some end of the year clearance shopping and found some great deals for both girls for the Spring. Baby sister needed a few fresh staples that were summer ready, instead of winter (like most of Evie's). And $3 Carters onesies were just the ticket. Gymboree had some mega sale at which I scored matching skirts for the girls for this summer.  

We also have 18 newborn cloth diapers, but I am thinking we want more like 20-22, so I bought one new one for her Christmas stocking, and another one from a Cloth Diaper swap Facebook group.

And the latest thing we've discovered are LooHoo Wool Dryer Balls. They're supposed to help improve circulation in the dryer; improving drying time and reducing static (no need for dryer sheets). Some of the cloth diaper inserts we have can take up to two drying cycles so we thought we'd give these a try to save on laundry expenses, especially as we prepare for another two years of cloth diapering, and add a fourth person's laundry!

While I was in Florida for the wedding, the Babies R Us was having a store closing sale. Not a fabulous deal, but I needed a few incidentals like new pump parts, lanolin, a pacifier bungie, crib sheet, etc that you wouldn't necessary use a coupon for...so it was nice to leave with a bag full of things for a decent price.

The only other major thing left to get is a wrap or ring sling, of which I am still doing research. (Feel free to leave your opinions).  Side note - I have an ERGO, which we love, but given my body shape it just didn't work the first few weeks/months.

Oh, and THIS:  Arm hair. The pregnancy apps and blogs tell you how fabulous your hair gets: thick and luscious.  No one tells you the same goes for your arm hair. I feel like a wooly mammoth. 

Compared to Evie: 

At this point with Evie I'd gained 30 pounds. I'm at half that!
I'd started getting stretch marks: This time, none!
I began experiencing carpel tunnel at night:  So far, not a hint!
I missed beer: I openly drink wine once or twice a week
Taking Bradley classes: Encouraging friends to take them!

Read her 25-26 week update here.

2014 Goals and Intentions

Happy New Year!

Last night Eric and I took a few moments, as we do each year, to review our previous year and discuss our vision for the coming year.

We both agreed 2013 was "status quo" -  We had paid off our debts in 2011, we'd bought a house in 2012, we'd had a toddler and were pregnant with another, we were stable in our jobs...it was just a year of tweaking and keeping our little family afloat.

On the upside, we both took up Spiritual Direction and have been tackling some major road blocks in our personal/spiritual lives and in our marriage.  It's been very healing and fruitful for both of us.  We also went 80-20 grain-free and saw dramatic difference in how we feel physically (and in my case, emotionally and mentally as well).  These are both huge accomplishments. Yay us!

In part, we felt like we struggled with 2013 because we never wrote down our goals like we have in years past. (Do I sound like a youth minister or what?)

Today I put the pen to the paper.  The first page on my Erin Condren Life Planner has my goals written.  I want to see them regularly.

I want to share them with YOU to help keep me accountable:

Spiritual 

• Continue spiritual direction and put my best effort into my "assignments"
• Pray for 15 minutes each day

Marriage

• Pray together nightly
• Have one "no media" night a week to foster good conversation

Parenting

• Plan one fun activity a week
• Work on not raising my voice so quickly

Financial

• Rework and recommit to our budget and financial goals. And for me, the spender, to make a better effort to do my part 
• Examine our spending habits, re-prioritize, and find little ways to cut back (It's been a few years since we've done this)

Interpersonal

• Be a better friend, reach out to my girlfriends, affirm instead of criticize 
• Be a more gracious hostess

Physical

• Recommit to only one grain / sweet per day
• Stretch a few minutes each night

Career

• Continue my discernment process with my husband and spiritual director
• Trust that God will take care of me no matter what 
• Begin the process of starting a small business 

Other

I have a few other small check list type stuff I want to get done, like organize the linen closet (again), catalog all our favorite meals for easy meal planning, and declutter our kitchen....

What's on your list for 2014?