When Friday Funday Ends in Tears

There's been seemingly a lot of talk this week about how everyone's lives are picture perfect on Twitter and Blogs...so here's a glimpse into my not-so-picture-perfect day.

Yesterday Evie was complaining of a stomachache, which is a whole different story.  Basically she had two huge diaper blow outs and threw up.  She was restless all night with a cough (again).  As I laid awake from 2am-4am listening to her suffer through another coughing fit I was really glad I didn't make Friday Funday plans with friends. Because, WHO KNOWS what the morning would bring.

Well, toddlers are remarkable creatures.  Evie slept until 9:15 am. Whatthewhat?!?!  And woke up a bundle of energy.

She was excited for pancakes and promptly asked what our adventure would be for the day.  Well, crap.

While she was eating breakfast I got an email from the Gap Outlet that they were having a 30-70% off everything in the store sale. We had a few more items on our spring shopping list.  And who can pass up a chance to browse the Pottery Barn outlet?  Besides, I had a short list of things I "needed" to get there as well.

So, what the heck.  Let's make a day of it.

By the time we were ready to head out it was lunch time. Evie was begging for a cheeseburger (um, okay).  I wasn't about to whip up cheeseburgers so I thought we'd grab drive through and eat them on the way to the outlet mall.

They had just learned about transportation in preschool, and Evie's been obsessed with roller skates ever since.  There's a Sonic on our way.  We stopped for burgers, tots and mmmm cherry coke. And of course got to see the car hops on skates.

I finished my burger and Evie was still eating tots and her apple juice, but we needed to hit the road.  I didn't even think to check her burger.

As we got on the highway she asked for her burger so I passed it back.  A few minutes later she started crying, "Mommy, it's yucky. No like it mommy. Yuck!"  So I took it from her. Woof! It was covered COVERED in mustard.

Now I can't stand the smell of yellow mustard not pregnant, but pregnant it makes me super queasy.  I was trying to drive and now my hands were covered in yellow mustard. I tried to clean up, but it was a losing battle.

Fast forward.

It's now 1 pm (nap time is at 2pm) and I have a hungry toddler and no stroller. (Serves me right for thinking she's old enough to stay with me in the store).

I told Evie her job while at Gap was to pick out new jammies for her and baby sister while I shopped for other bargains.  I swear she was right there behind me, and then all of the sudden she wasn't.

I peeked around a few racks expected she couldn't have gone to far in a matter of seconds.  But she was gone.  GONE.

I figured she was maybe over in the boy's section around the corner. No.
Checked the big girl's section. No.
Peeked in the women's. No.
Circled around to men's. No.
At this point I am shouting her name over the music and RUNNING.

This store is huge and full of little cubbies and corners.  It also has a few exits.

My heart was racing. I mean, we live in a city known for kidnappings and sex trafficking.  My mind assumed the worse.

I was now sweaty and sprinting.  Shouting for her.

No one else in the store, employees included, seemed to notice a pregnant lady running through the store shouting her daughter's name.

I finally heard her giggle. She was up at the cash register, the furthest point in the store from where I was shopping. She jumped out and said, "Peek a boo!"  But quickly changed her tone (thank God) when she saw me crying.

"Why mommy sad?"

I tried to explain to her that she was not being a good listener and that I wasn't happy with her. She didn't seem to care.

She more or less played peek-a-boo with me while I tried to finish shopping.

When I went to check out I put Evie up on the counter with my huge pile of bargains and the girl said, "Looks like you have your hands full today" which every mom knows is code for "Wow lady you can't control your kid"

I burst into tears as we walked out of the store.

Fast forward.

We get the stuff in the car and walk back toward Pottery Barn but Evie sees the playground. We now have a stand off on the side walk for a solid 10 minutes.  I finally had to pick her up and carry her into and around Pottery Barn.

Huffing and puffing.

Because 32 weeks pregnant carrying a 34 pound 2 year old who is crying...

Fast forward.

She was more or less fine in the store and was eager to play on the playground when we were done.  She did great for about 5 minutes until she got stuck up at the highest point. She is terrified of climbing down and even more so of slides.  (There is no way she could have learned this from me, but I am the same way!).  She kept asking me to come up and get her, but at that moment a nerve pinched in my butt, sending shooting pain down my leg.  I nearly collapsed on the playground.

I had to limp to a bench.  And now Evie was having a panic attack at the top of the playground and I couldn't move.

Of course everyone is just walking by looking at me like "you crazy ass lady. get your kid"

Choking back tears I crawled up the stairs and dragged Evie back down.  I was in so much pain and she was such a wreck I just carried her straight to the car.

Of course she was disappointed.

She had a meltdown.  Like full on velociraptor screaming.

For THIRTY TWO MINUTES on the way home.

Until we hit traffic.  Facing the sun. Five minutes from home.  When she fell asleep in the car.

Well, damn.

So much for a Fun-Day.